so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
