Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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