Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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