I can tuck mytits in my pants
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The air was thick with penises
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
