i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Best friends brother. Beat that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
