My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
