Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
