My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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