summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
