Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
