Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
