My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You can't special order awesome
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
