Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
either way he was missing a nipple.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
