is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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