I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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