he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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