There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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