Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
