we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She bit a glass in half.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
