I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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