You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
