from now on my penis is your penis
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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