dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
