Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
