no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
