How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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