Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
