i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize