Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
PANTIES FOUND
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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