I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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