Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
