So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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