btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
