Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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