Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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