I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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