either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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