I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
someone owes me an orgasm
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
