That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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