your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
