Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize