I heard we made out
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Buhtt sex?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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