Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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