You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
