Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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