Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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