This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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