you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize