im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
