Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
