What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
