sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
