i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
