Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize