four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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