I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
