she was so not down for the gang bang
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
