Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize