If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
