it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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