great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
