i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
