I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
