The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The Olympian is in my bed
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
